The Shift
by Megwill
Summary: Castle's thought's at the end of 'Undead' also known as the zombie episode. She admitted to almost being in a place where she could accept everything that had happened that day. In other wards she'd admitted to him, in their unspoken language that she'd heard him.


Kate spoke slowly and carefully, "…but I think I'm almost where I want to be now."

"And where is that?" I knew that the walls she spoke of earlier were starting to crumble before my eyes. So, I listened carefully as I watched her unravel more of the mystery I never wanted to solve.

"In a place where I can accept everything that happened that day, everything" She replied and I listened carefully as I watched her unravel more of the mystery I never wanted to solve.

"I think I understand." We shared careful smiles and quick awkward glances at one another as we spoke in our own language.

"And, um, that wall I was telling you about. I think it's coming down." She admitted, as if she had let me in on a secret only meant for me.

"Well I'd like to be there when it does." I reassured her carefully.

Kate smiled and half whispered, "Yeah, I'd like you to be there too."

"Only without the zombie makeup." I tried to break the tension of the moment.

Although she would never admit it she smiled flirtatiously, like a little girl, "I don't know, I kinda think the zombie makeup suits you Castle."

She reeled herself in a bit realizing she had let herself get to comfortable and I broke the tense moment again, "Yeah, I make it work."

Kate laughed. I could tell it was a nervous laugh, and that made me both sad and hopeful. She looked away from my eyes, "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." As I watched her walk away I felt a shift in our relationship. I wasn't sure what had happened, but I think…I think it was going to be a good thing. I wasn't going to admit I was scared, because I was terrified. Though, when I thought of what she'd told me on the swings, maybe petrified was a better word.

* * *

"_Castle wait." Beckett had come to find me at one of my book signings after she had been shot._

"_I did three months and you never called." I was livid with her, but she and I both knew I could never stay angry with her._

"_Look I know you're angry."_

"_You're damn right I'm angry. I watched you die in that ambulance, did you know that? Do you know what that's like watching the life drain out of someone you…someone you care about?" I'd already told her I loved her and she didn't even hear me. It hurt._

"_I told you I needed some time." She reasoned._

"_You said a few days." I didn't buy it._

"_Well I needed more." _

"_Well you should have said that."_

"_Castle look I couldn't call you. Not without dragging myself into everything that I was trying to get some space from. I needed some time to just work through everything."_

"_Josh help you with that?" Josh was her boyfriend who had told me it was my fault that she had been shot. _

"_We broke up." With that she marched off to some swings and sat down. I sat next to her as she looked over the book dedicated to her, her feet dragging in the sand._

"_I like the dedication."_

"_It seemed right."_

"_Must have been hard writing the ending."_

"_Yeah, yeah, given the circumstances. So why did you guys break up?" I wanted to still be angry, but she had some sort of gravitational pull on me. I'd wait for her, always. _

"_I really liked him, but that wasn't enough." She said and I wondered where she was going with this "After my mother was killed something inside me changed so I built up a wall inside, because I didn't ever want to hurt like that again." _

_She was quiet a moment and I knew that she didn't trust herself or others easily. This wasn't a newsflash to me, but I realized something significant was about to happen. I listened carefully to her next words._

"…_I know I'm not going to ever be the person I want to be, or have the kind of relationship I want to have until I put this thing to rest."_ _She looked at me and I knew exactly what her unsaid words meant. In Kate's language it meant she wanted to be with me right now, but she couldn't until her walls came down and she was the person she wanted to be. _

_I swallowed and looked to her, "Then I guess we're just going to have to find a way to catch these guys and make them pay."_

_She smiled a smile which she reserved only for me, and in that moment I knew if her walls came down things between us would inevitably change. That scared me because Beckett was my best friend and I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. Though, change is inevitable. _

* * *

My eyes met Kate's as she stepped in the elevator and in that moment I realized I was right. Her walls were falling, and rapidly. I inhaled and swallowed wondering what exactly, _tomorrow_ would bring us and at the same time knew it was only a matter of time until tomorrow, meant today.

I smiled in my apparently well suited zombie makeup. When she said she wanted to accept everything that had happened to her that day. I knew she'd heard me, and she knew I knew. More importantly, when her walls fell, she wanted _me_ to be there, _me_. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I smiled again, because in our unspoken language she had just assured me, she loved me too.

* * *

Zombie cases are _always_ the best.


End file.
